The Happiness Found in Disappointment

There are people who have achieved a high level of success, and more than a few success gurus, who say that if you believe in your dreams, you can achieve anything you want. There are others who tell you that if you follow your passion, the money will follow. It’s a nice thought, but all you have to do is watch the try-outs for American Idol to know that isn’t true. There are times when no matter how much you believe in your dreams, or how passionate you are, you simply don’t have the natural ability or the resources to make things happen the way you planned.

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The Enneagram of Nine Personalities is an excellent tool for developing social intelligence. This aspect of the system is often over-looked because of the focus on personal development. Ironically, one of the best ways to reach your personal best and become a happier person is to shift your focus away from yourself and on to the needs of others.

We tend to think of people who are socially skilled as being out-going, confident and assertive. Social intelligence is the ability to tune in to, and adapt to the emotional and social cues of others. The more skilled we are at tuning into the feelings and preferences of others, without being pulled off of our own natural center, the higher our social intelligence. The more social intelligence you have, the stronger your relationships are and the happier you feel in your life.

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Enneagram Superego Super Heroes

If you are familiar with the Enneagram, you know that it includes both the higher qualities and fear-reactive traits of nine basic personality types. Each of us has both the higher and reactive traits of all nine types, but some are more predominate in your personality.

Our reactive self is inflexible, controlling, picky, argumentative, stingy, stubborn, distracted, defensive, moody and vain. Sometimes it is hard to notice when you are reacting with those negative traits, because the are psychological defenses intended to keep you safe and get what you need to survive. A good way to observe this is but noticing when you are feeling fearful or threatened in some way.

Super Heroes in comic books are often presented as flawed but good people trying to make the best of their situation, just like us. To help you better visualize the flaws that sometimes masquerade as higher traits, here are our Enneagram Super Heroes along with their superego behavior. Read more

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